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A Funny Thing Happened
Corporate Clichés = Clutter
I cannot read an e-mail, sit through a meeting or even ride the elevator without slamming face first into a corporate cliché. Is my irritation with these tired expressions simply a character flaw? I decided to ask some of the best communicators I know to weigh in on the topic. I asked them, "What cliché irks you most?" I was stunned by the number of responses I received and the speed in which they rolled into my inbox. After collecting all the comments, the clichés clustered into three categories:
- Clichés that make us giggle.
- Clichés that terrify.
- Clichés that really make no sense at all.
Clichés that Make Us Giggle
“I’ll circle back with you on that.” Every time I hear this, images of cowboys on horses pop into my head. And for some weird reason, this phrase sounds exactly like something Mister Ed would say to Wilbur.
"At the end of the day..." This one irks my friend Clare, a writer and professor. She says, "How about at the beginning of the day? Isn't that a more productive time for a lot of people?"
"Thinking outside the box" gives graphic designer Diana a "facial tic."
"Do you have the shelf space for this project?" Yes, and I also have the bandwidth for it.
Clichés that Terrify
"I'm not ready to fall on my sword for that." Uh, is the economy so bad that business people are carrying sharp objects these days?
"Let's take that offline." Shady. Very shady.
"Nobody wants to be the throat to choke." My friend Janelle, who works in the defense industry, says this phrase makes her want to "crawl into a hole."
"Business synergy" agitates my friend Greg, an architect. "When I hear that, I want to stab somebody in the eye with a rusty fork, because it usually means they are combining two companies and laying off 50% of the people to pump up profits in the short term."
"This will need to be escalated." Okay, now I'm really scared.
Clichés that Make No Sense at All
"Let's calendarize that." Let's not and say we did.
"We'll need a granular approach." We need to add sugar/sand/powder to our strategy? I'm confused.
"Seamless integration." Does anyone know what that means?
"Going forward..." Would any of us still have a job if we were going backward?
It Is What It Is
A friend recently "called me to the carpet" for saying, "It is what it is." I admit: I'm guilty of overusing that one. In fact, I have it on a placard in my office. Business coach Steve says the phrase was "fresh 10 years ago but, today, it's platitudinous."
Okay, Steve. How about "It ain't what it ain't?"
Hmmm. Until I come up with a better phrase, I think I'll just hit the reset button and parking lot that for now.
Twitter? Facebook? LinkedIn? How to Make Social Networking Sites Work for You (without boring everybody else to tears)
I'm jazzed about social networking. It's a smashtacular* marvel for writers. We get to play with words and launch them across the planet, knowing that somewhere, someone is reading our tediously structured sentences and thought-thwarting descriptions.
Here's the problem: Too many people are hijacking the social networking bus without a clue as to where they are going and how they will get there.
I'm here to help.
Social Networking 101
At first, I balked at Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and the plethora of other sites popping up every other day. "Ugh. The last thing I need is another time-vampire, slowly draining every free moment I have." Yet, all my clients were talking about the social networking craze. And since I offer "communications consulting," I figured I had better get on that bus... plant my fanny firmly into the driver's seat.
Here's what I've learned.
Step 1: Familiarize yourself with the site.
It's not a great idea to take the jump-in-with-both-feet-first approach. When you set up a Twitter, Facebook or any other social networking account, spend some time trolling the site before you write a single word. As you troll:
- Jot down the things you find compelling about the site—and the things that make you gag (e.g., I really love the free tips about how to launch a new business; I get a bit queasy reading about an Oregon mom's remedy for getting dog vomit out of carpet).
- Make a specific list of the reasons why it appears people are using the site (e.g., to sell a product or service, to notch up a reputation, to educate the public, etc.).
- Circle the reasons that fit your motives.
Step 2: Answer the most important question of all.
After you've completed Step 1, ask yourself: "What do I want this site to do for me?" You are truly the only person who can answer this question, but I'll help you out a bit since I believe in the power of the jump-start. Here's some inspiration to get you going as you formulate your answer to that question:
- An owner of a wine store is using social networking to build his customer base and sell more product. He spends at least four hours a day on social networking sites. In one week alone, he reports that he gained 1,800 new customers because of a promotional offer. He is now the #1 wine store in Central New Jersey.
- A New York business coach is interested in increasing his client base. His daily tweets about coaching have landed him several new clients, including a man with a brain injury who is launching his own business.
- A woman who recently moved from Canada to the U.S. misses her very large family and can't afford weekly phone calls. She's using MySpace to post photos and exchange updates with about 25 aunts, uncles and cousins in Canada. She recently told a radio talk show host that even though she misses her "somewhat dysfunctional and alcohol-soaked family," she loves the fact that MySpace allows her to stay in touch with all of them—without ever actually having to talk in person.
- A man who once suffered from painful, ugly lesions from psoriasis covering 90% of his body wants to educate people about the disease—and give them hope. After nearly a lifetime of searching for solutions, he's found them, and he's sharing his new life with many people on Facebook.
Get the picture? What SPECIFICALLY do you want social networking to do for you?
How I Use Social Networking
By completing the two steps above, I was able to arrive at precisely what I wanted to achieve with my online presence:
- I want to educate my readers about the English language. With Twitter, I use the site this way: I take whatever I'm doing or experiencing and link that to writing or the English language. For example, when I took out the garbage and saw a bear on the street, I didn't just tweet: "A 300-pound bear is going through the garbage cans on my street." Instead, I introduced my "followers " to the "homograph" and tweeted, "Homograph: A BEAR is trolling the street today; can't BEAR the thought of meeting him nose-to-nose; BEAR with me while I hide."
- I want to rehearse my craft with a world audience. Social networking sites give me a spot-on venue for spinning splendid sentences. For example, on LinkedIn, I describe my job like this: "Some people build houses for a living; I build sentences." And on Facebook, when I told friends about my encounter with the bear, I admitted that I was terrified "but had to giggle when I realized I was walking with a bear behind."
How Are You Using Social Networking?
I'd love to hear your take on the social networking scene. If you have some thoughts to share, please reach out to me. I'm easy to find. Simply tweet, friend, link or Google me.
* "Smastacular" is not found in the dictionary, but I'm hoping it catches on. Feel free to use it.
Do you need a feature, hard news or persuasive story written for a publication? Contact Terri McAdoo here.
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